A month ago I ran a survey about women’s experiences of support during a miscarriage. Thank you to those who shared their feelings on the very tender subject.
Only two women responded – which confirms that this is a highly personal, highly sensitive topic. The two women who responded had very different experiences. One had one miscarriage, the other had three or more.
One received the support she needed, the other did not. The woman who received good support indicated people around her personalized the experience, remembered how many miscarriages she had had, and included them in her pregnancy count. The one who did not feel supported wanted someone to hold her and take care of her and her other children. She needed and wanted more emotional and physical support.
Both women indicated the significance of acknowledging the loss as the loss of a baby, not the loss of a pregnancy or a ‘blob.’
Miscarriage can be a very traumatic experience. There is no harm in offering support to a woman who is threatening to and/or going through a miscarriage. If the woman doesn’t need or want support, she will let you know. Kindness and compassion are always in style!